Campbell's Oyster Stew
Before Hot Saucing: 6
After Hot Saucing: 8
Campbell's soup tends to look really bad just out of the can, but even at this extremely early point in my soup quest I have an inkling that Oyster Stew may set a standard for ugly-assness. Cold in the pot, it slides out of the can as a grayish, briny-smelling broth accompanied by a frugal array of anemic-looking oysters and viscous chunks of earwaxy-looking goo that cling to the sides and lid of the can. Adding the canful of milk makes the whole mess look a little like novelty vomit.
Thankfully the goo chunks melt quickly upon heating into an inviting butterlike substance, and the end result, while not the heartiest-looking seafood stew you'll ever see, is passably tasty and not too offensive-looking in the bowl. Nevertheless, seasoning is a must. It took about 10 shakes of Crystal and a twist or three of lemon pepper to make the stew genuinely delicious. The oysters are surprisingly fresh and tender, if a little wimpy. Note to Campbell's: if you're going to market this stuff as "stew" and not "soup," I expect liberal chunks of food rather than little anemic bottom-dweller bits. More oysters, vegetables, and thickening agents - I demand more earwax - would transform this soup from a salty, watery slurp into a full-fledged meal.
